HE CHOOSES HIS PORN OVER ME

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Replied by me2u on topic HE CHOOSES HIS PORN OVER ME

wellIreally empathise with you all as they say a problem shared is a problrm halved I found out 2 days ago that my man of 10 years has been looking at porn insteadof having sex with me I am in total shock
7 years 4 months ago #69358

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Replied by Betrayed Wife on topic HE CHOOSES HIS PORN OVER ME

Surfn4ever wrote: I'm so sexually frustrated I'm close to walking away.

Don't walk away... RUN!!! This guy is not going to change. He's selfish and he has no consideration for your feelings. He's already dragged your self esteem down and he refuses to give you what you need. You said other guys have been hitting on you. Do yourself a big favor. Go out and find someone who will treat you like you deserve. Then you'll look back and wonder what you ever saw in this loser.
It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness -- ancient proverb.
7 years 4 months ago #69363

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Replied by surfn4ever on topic HE CHOOSES HIS PORN OVER ME

I guess I don't know how to take that first step... I don't know where to begin. I've never joined any of these chat things or anything until last night only because I really don't know where else to turn.
7 years 4 months ago #69364

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Replied by surfn4ever on topic HE CHOOSES HIS PORN OVER ME

Where do I begin?
7 years 4 months ago #69371

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  • Sir lost a lot
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Replied by Sir lost a lot on topic HE CHOOSES HIS PORN OVER ME

Look surfn, that first step your talking about is the step out the door and don't look back, there is no acceptable reason to be treated this way. This guy and all you women who are facing this problem of having to compete with porn that your husband or BF is infatuated with, this is no different than being abused as I was In my first marriage. I never thought that any man would chose porn over the real thing when it was there begging for it, perplexes me to no end. But yet here it is. Just remember it really is not you it's them and before they scare you for life leave them behind and go find someone that can please you as a husband as well as a lover.
"The past is what makes us who we are today, the future is the window to who we will become. To hold onto the past and not embrace each new day will only stop us from becoming all we can be for ourselves and the ones we hold dear to our hearts." - by me
7 years 4 months ago #69382

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  • Older but wiser
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Replied by Older but wiser on topic HE CHOOSES HIS PORN OVER ME

Ladies, I want to agree with sir lost a lot and betrayed wife......kick him to the curb. There is NO upside to these relationships and you haven't been with them long enough, are not married to them, or have kids with them, so the sensible thing to do is to GET OUT IMMEDIATELY.

First step? Begin? There is no first step and no place to begin...there is only one step, getting out immediately, and that's the end, not the beginning.

Ladies, if you FEEL like staying, that doesn't make it a good idea. You might try reading the books, "Men who hate women, and the women who love them" and "Women who love too much", especially the second book...both are by Robin Norwood. Also, Smart women, Foolish Choices.

I can speak to this issue of staying when you should go because I spent 20 years in a terrible relationship. In addition to the cheating and lying, my ex-wife was into B&D, and I wouldn't participate....and she would watch that sort of porn secretly, or so she thought. Our sex life was nearly non-existent for years and years. It was misery, and that's what's in store for you. So, get out, not eventually, but immediately, because there is NO hope.

Let me tell you this ladies....this is VERY important:

When a person's sexuality gets screwed up, it's all down hill from there. This is one area where people rarely get better, and they get worse with time. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER get involved with someone whose sexuality is screwed up, and if you are with a guy like that, get away from him, because he will lie to you, manipulate you, and break your heart.

These guys have an addiction, like drugs. You can't talk an addict out of their addiction, and you can't fix him.

Come on, hon, you know there are really good guys out there, who would LOVE to have you waiting for them to make love, and will put nothing above you but God, right? So, give these good guys a chance.

The woman who is now my wife was once married to a guy who treated her terribly, and was into porn, and their sex life was a misery to her. They divorced, and we met three years later, and let me tell you, IS SHE EVER GLAD SHE DIVORCED HIM. Yes, when we met we really, really liked each other and took our time, but believe me, that first time we made love is one I will never forget, and neither will she.

Yes, the sex was absurdly amazing, and still is. Sex won't make a bad relationship good, but a bad sexual situation will make a good relationship very bad, very tense, and make you feel terrible about yourself, and as you know, it's incredibly frustrating all the time, and sets you on edge, like nails on a chalk board.

It's like this...he does it himself, so you have to, as well. Is this what you signed up for in a relationship? If you wanted to do it yourself, you didn't need him. You needed a real man who loves and cares for you, and wants you, really, really wants you, right? Well, you will NEVER have that with these guys, ever.

Be happy....find a decent guy.
7 years 4 months ago #69392

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