My wife’s insane behavior and how it changed us

  • Lostatthemoment404
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My wife’s insane behavior and how it changed us was created by Lostatthemoment404

Hello all never once did I think I would get to this point, to the point of reaching out to strangers on the internet for guidance but here we are. My wife and I have been together for 10 years but married for eight, we met in college and were each other’s firsts and only. I honestly thought we had a unique and beautiful relationship because of that but it appears that was just me. Some time ago my wife began working at new company, at first she found it difficult to fit in because she’s always been reserved but after encouragement from me she made friends with a group of girls ( some of whom were single, divorced or dating but non married) . At first I was happy she made friends but then she started going out for drinks, partying or something other thing her friends had planned. I became concerned by her change in behavior and tried to talk to her about it but at the same time didn’t want to restrict her in anyway, it started to affect our relationship in the bedroom. My wife wasn’t one to initiate intimacy but with her continued going out she was either too tired or wasn’t in the mood, at some point her company got a new manager whom my wife and her friends had taken a shining to . She began mentioning him in passing but it got a point where pointing how he handled certain problems that didn’t seem to be work related, I questioned her on her Festination with this man and she brushed off my concerns. She even started asking if I regretted not having more experience with woman to which I said No because she is all I ever needed. I swore I thought for a moment I saw a flash of sadness in her eyes but she quickly changed the subject .She started mentioning “open marriages” as a way to spice up our marriage, I was taken back because my wife was never this kind of person and not that liberal sexually to be honest. I at first refused and questioned if this had anything to do with the new manager to which she denied but said she felt like “ MISSED OUT” but at the same time didn’t want to lose me so this was a safer option. I warned her that she was playing with fire then reluctantly and naïvely agreed. So we set some rules mainly not to sleep with another person in our home, so for a year and my wife goes on dates , has one night stands then as if I didn’t see it coming somehow is in some kind of relationship with that manager. I on the other hand had a few dates but no “one night stands” because freaky it felt wrong to me , my wife would ask if I was fine but really wouldn’t change her behavior.At some point I felt the love I had for her , that pure special innocence of marriage was gone and it was killing me inside. I ended going on a date with an amazing woman who migrated over from South Korea , Conversation was effortless , she had wit of a lighting fast wipe crack and a smile that had one forget himself. This of course led to more dates until we were intimate , I honestly never had sex like I had with this woman, I never knew a woman could be so giving and make one feel so desirable. At first my wife thought it was cute but as the months went by she began questioning my relationship with my lover , I promptly pointed out that this was her idea and even she was in a relationship with the manager I was concerned about. She was silent, looked she wanted to say something but held her tongue . She began coming home early to surprise me with dinner and get the house extra clean, she so started coming to my work place to drop off lunch and began to initiate intimacy in the bedroom. Honestly if it wasn’t for her opening up our marriage (which I am also to blame for agreeing) all this would’ve had me jumping for joy. I barely gave into her attempts at intimacy and when I did it was simply to get it over with. Something in me towards my wife died and I could see she felt it too. I ask what brought on this change in her , what was different , the response I got was that she wants to she wants to show me that she loves me and is happy with me. I never intended to but I burst out laughing , I asked about her little group of friends, her manager lover or her one night stands. She didn’t respond that day and simply went to bed in tears. The next day I get home to find her waiting for me . She told me she wants to close the marriage, that this whole experience was a horrible mistake , that regrets everything and wants “US” to be the Focus Of our relationship again. I told her to be honest with me and tell me what inspired all this in the first place and wouldn’t you know it , it was her group of friends that planted the idea because of their numerous sexual exploits and when her manager came around he surprisingly supported that lifestyle and encouraged my wife to live free. Apparently they developed an  emotional affair but only got physical once the marriage opened ( like that makes it better)She described it as being drunk behind the wheel of a speeding car , it was thrilling and intoxicating but the price of this decision has become too much for her to bear.She sees now that she never needed a comparison , that what we had was truly unique and special but now she feels like she murdered our marriage and any chance of a life together. In told her I might not to ever be able to see her as my wife again and this made her breakdown infront of me , I simply held her in silence as she cried until she fell asleep in My arms on the couch. She has since left her job and cut of contact with all her friends and her manager and even told me she’s willing to spend the rest of her life making it up to me and work her fingers to the bone to been seen as a wife by me but I haven’t cut contact with my lover. My lover quite frankly makes me feel like a man , like I can challenge the world and my wife hasn’t in a while. Truth is I don’t know what to do in this situation. I would love to get the special feeling back if possible but my lover basically saved me when I was at my lowest. Please help me
1 year 3 months ago #93870

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