Watching your husband grieve another woman

  • Bbygrl1079
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Watching your husband grieve another woman was created by Bbygrl1079

Hi. New here. I have a ton of garbage on my brain and to constantly bring it up to my husband would be counterproductive to our goals as a couple. So here I am. With like minded individuals who are feeling or have felt all the emotions I'm going through.
That being said, how weird is it to watch your husband go through a break up with another woman?
I'm over here feeling guilty as if I'm at fault for his sadness. I'm also pissed because it's his and her fault for starting a relationship together knowing full well he was married. I want to comfort him and show I care. I also want to twist the knife a little sometimes but I resist. That won't solve anything and only continues the cycle of issues that opened the door to the affair to begin with. 
It's an odd tug of war on your heart. I feel like it needs to be brought out into the light and discussed more.
No one ever considers this angle on D-Day. You don't confront and work to rebuild expecting him to have to grieve the relationship with the other woman.
It's something that leaves me confused and conflicted. It's obviously uncomfortable for everyone but me to address. I would just like to understand these feelings better and know how to handle it. That comes from conversations that are void of ego and hurt feelings. Can anyone contain their ego anymore?
It feels like I don't get to be weird about this part of the process because of his hurt feelings. I'm robbed of my support and have to add that to the list of things their irresponsible decisions have robbed me of. It's violating. She may as well have raped me. I'm working through this anger. It comes in waves and the tide is waning over time. I'm only 10 days out from D-Day at this point. 
Anyway. There's my first rant/ post. Anyone else experiencing these polarizing emotions? 
6 months 2 weeks ago #92978

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