I lost my husband to his mistress

  • listeningloud
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I lost my husband to his mistress was created by listeningloud

Five years ago my husband of 10 years left me for his mistress. They are now married with a baby. It was devastating. I then many years later, decided to lightly date a married man from Ashley-Madison. He seemed to respect his wife but reported that they were living separate lives. He fell in love with me and on his own wanted to leave. He tried thinking she would let him go. she fought hard for him and I think there were threats about the children. So 6 weeks ago he told me he was trying at the marriage. I have not spoekn to him since. He confessed me to her. She called irate. I offered to talk to her but she never called back. I have not talked to him since. Apparently they are trying and well they should. I wish my husband had tried. But it was doomed because he was in love. So any insights on this? I always believed my guy (the married one) had to really try to see if there was anything there to salvage. It was and is the only way if we are to ever be together. To blow up his marriage and declare he loved me wasn't going to work. But now he is gone. I do wonder if he will reach out to me to talk to me. She is of course watching everything he does. He did confess he loved me. I wonder how she would absorb that. I didn't, when I learned my husband loved his mistress, I said "go".

I am hoping once she isn't watching him that he reaches out so I can just understand. And if they try and it doesn't work, really doesn't work, then and only then could we be okay. Otherwise we would just be whip sawed behind her anger at his betrayal. No I am not worried he would do the same to me. I just don't think so. I know my ex doesn't cheat on his wife. And I know all men are different.
11 years 3 months ago #30280

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  • spicegirl
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Replied by spicegirl on topic I lost my husband to his mistress

Im sorry this happened to you, but when you do what y ou are doing, its a chance you take! Isnt that site just for casual sex, no strings???/

Wow, I have to give some of you ladies credit, you are brave just having sex like this with basic strangers!

I hope you find a man that respects you and loves you like you deserve, but first, I hope you find all that for yourself.
11 years 3 months ago #30290

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  • janice freed
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Replied by janice freed on topic I lost my husband to his mistress

why would you get involved with a married man knowing how much pain it would cause.......doesn't make much sense
10 years 5 months ago #39593

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Replied by sunnybrook1952 on topic I lost my husband to his mistress

Listening, it seems to me that you are numb from what your husband did to you, otherwise how could you have been party to inflicting such pain on another wife?

I truly am sorry for your loss with your husband, and I can only imagine what that felt like to be overthrown for the mistress. I don't think that happens too often, at least more than not the cheating spouse will give up the affair partner when confronted with a divorce.

I really do hope that you give up the notion of getting together with this married man. Please stop reeling from the pain of your lost marriage and understand what you are doing to another family. And just so you know, his wife will NEVER stop watching what he is doing from this day forward!!! And stay away from Ashley-Madison...nothing good will come from that and I think you know that.

Best of luck to you, and know that you need to heal from this, and casual sexual encounters will NEVER help with that.

Sunny
10 years 5 months ago #39594

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Replied by Betrayed Wife on topic I lost my husband to his mistress


I cannot believe you have the nerve to do to another woman what your husband's mistress did to you!! You know the pain caused by another woman, so the first thing you do is go to Ashley Madison and "lightly" date a married man? When a person is married, there is no such thing as "lightly" dating another person! You got what you deserved. If his marriage was so bad that he had to go to Ashley Madison to find someone else, then he'd have had no trouble leaving his wife. The truth is, he was using Ashley Madison behind her back and never had any intention of leaving her. People don't to go Ashley Madison when they plan to leave their spouse, they go there so that they can fool around behind their spouse's back. That "they were living separate lives" crap is a classic lie that cheaters tell the person they're cheating with, as if that's an excuse.

Why in the world did you go to Ashley Madison to look up a married man to fool around with? Why not a regular dating service, since you were available? I think you got everything you deserve. A woman who knows the pain of being cheated on does not go and seek out a married man and inflict that pain upon another woman.

If he's not talking to you, then he's made his choice. He was just using you and when his wife found out he chose her, the one with whom he was living a separate life. Your letting your husband go when he said he was in love with his mistress gives you no excuse and no justification for being with this married man.

I know you're devastated again. This time it's 100% your fault.
It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness -- ancient proverb.
10 years 5 months ago #39631

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  • leesooo
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Replied by leesooo on topic I lost my husband to his mistress

:ohmy: Cant believe this! Why do women always blame each other for cheating husbands. The lies that keep you in the marriage are the same lies that keep the other women in the relationship with your husband. The same commitments that a wife is guaranteed of through a marriage certificate its the same as the commitments he has made to keep the mistress with him, a house , a car and everything else that she wants and even invstments all in her name and and im not talking about unemployed ladies here. As long as you still blaming the other women your hsuband will cheat on you, wake up, deal with your husband, its him you are married to not the other woman! She has been lied to as well as you are lied to! and if your hsubnd gives her all she needs why would she leave him, when you a wife is putting up with his cheating.Deal with your husband! WOMEN WAKE UP
9 years 2 months ago #62197

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