Is he a psychopath?

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Is he a psychopath? was created by felisicia_p

My (ex)boyfriend of 4 years, who was a habitual cheater, displays virtually no remorse for emotionally destroying me.

-I've never done anything to him
-We were living together
-He's cheated on me with at least 5 women and continued sexual relationships with them.
-I found out he told almost all of these women he loved them.
-He brought me HPV

I would argue that after 4 years of being in a relationship attachment is inevitable on both sides. When I confront him about these affairs he shows absolutely no remorse, walks out the door, continues his sexual relationship with the adultress, and does not even bother to contact me. Was I merely in the same category as the other women? I'm experiencing what I think are physical symptoms of anxiety such as headache. I've entirely lost apetite and force myself to eat to no avail. It's the same with liquids. I'm suffering from insomnia, and have lost the desire to live. I don't want to spend the years I feel it will take to recover from this and prefer death.

To me, we maintained a loving and meaningful relationship, and spent a lot of our time together, as I mentioned above, he lived with me. Is it honestly possible for him to have absolutely no remorse or empathy for the emotional devastation he has left behind after everything I gave up for him? He is still sleeping with the most recent women I found out about. Anyone who has suffered from a cheater should understand my complete desperation and I really hope someone can help me because I'm so sick.
10 years 2 months ago #37699

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  • Dan Kwan
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Replied by Dan Kwan on topic Is he a psychopath?

Yes, it is honestly possible for him not to care about you, but to have made you think that he has. It could be that he is just the world's biggest douche bag, or it could be a form of sociopathy/psychopathy called "personality disorder." I'm not saying your boyfriend has that, but it is a possibility.

If he doesn't show you any remorse for what he's done, then clearly he doesn't care about the relationship. As much as you might feel connected to him, you have to understand that this is entirely one-sided, and he will NOT do anything to show remorse or change his ways.

I would recommend you prepare yourself mentally, and break up with him. You aren't going to get what you want from him, and his coldness to you is showing you the real truth of who he is.

Now, if you break up with him, he might come back to you crying and begging for another chance, and he might seem really convincing. Just remember: he's already convinced you once, and look how that turned out.

It's also possible that he might come chasing after you with a lot of anger issues. A lot of time, people like this act like 3 year olds. They don't care about the rules until their favorite toy is taken away, then they scream and bitch until they can get their toy back, and then they go right back to breaking the rules again.

Don't fall for that a second time with him. Once should be enough for you to learn this painful lesson.
"No, it is impossible; it is impossible to convey the life-sensation of any given epoch of one's existence,—that which makes its truth, its meaning—its subtle and penetrating essence. It is impossible. We live, as we dream—alone..." - Joseph Conrad, The Heart of Darkness

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10 years 2 months ago #37702

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  • felisicia_p
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Replied by felisicia_p on topic Is he a psychopath?

Sorry it was my first time posting.
Second.. to be 100% honest I don't even know the number of women because some of the emails were inconclusive. I want to say 10. I wouldn't put it past him.
You're right, he doesn't care.
It's just incredibly tough because he may not have given a crap, but I did, very much actually, and now I feel something pretty indescribable.
Thank you for your honest opinion.
I'll do my best.
10 years 2 months ago #37704

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Replied by Aventurine on topic Is he a psychopath?

Might I ask how you found out? He must have been quite clever to keep all this hidden from you......
10 years 2 months ago #37712

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Replied by Camigram on topic Is he a psychopath?

Yes HE IS. No remorse shows that he is selfish, self-serving and cares about no one (including the 5 or more women he's involved with) more than he will EVER, yes EVER care about than himself. Sociopath psychopath compulsive liar one and the same, mentally incapable of feeling or caring for anyone beyond the self abosorbed individual that he is. How meaningful was the relationship? Apparently to YOU but doesn't appear that he was in the same book let alone on the same page. Realize that it's NOT YOU, it's his problem and cut your losses. Actually consider yourself fortunate that you did NOT marry this bozo. And try to remember who you are...a wonderful and God-made creation not some doormat for any man to wipe his feet on. Snap out of your depression, check back into the game of LIFE and stop making yourself sick emotionally and physically. It won't change anything and he still wins and has power over you. Get a hobby, reconnect with olds friends (both male and female) you sound as if you still have a lot of life to live) so LIVE IT!!! And for God's sake DO NOT take him back no matter what he says. He is a LIAR and his feelings extend no further than what's behind his zipper.
10 years 2 months ago #37715

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Replied by Betrayed Wife on topic Is he a psychopath?

I agree. No remorse equals no hope for the relationship. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. You are a doormat for him. He'll continue to abuse you as long as you let him. Why are you even still with him? Look what he's done to you. Can you possibly be worse off without him than with him? I don't see how you could be. Get out of there while you have an ounce of strength left, before he completely destroys you.
It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness -- ancient proverb.
10 years 2 months ago #37716

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