Signs of Infidelity

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Signs of Infidelity was created by Moderator

Several viewers have written to tell us about the signs of cheating they discovered on their own.

That is, the warning signs they first discovered - those small things which raised suspicion and ultimately led people to catch their spouse cheating.

We thought it might be useful to create a specific thread where people can share this knowledge with each other.

If you've caught your spouse cheating, were there any warning signs?
What were they?

Two signs that several viewers have already sent us:

  • excessive showering - coming home and immediately needing a shower when this wasn't the case before.
  • spouse is suddenly impossible to get ahold of during certain times of the day when they should be available - like during lunch or right after work.
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    11 years 1 month ago #7297

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    • JS
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    Replied by JS on topic Signs of Infidelity

    He would noticeably change the way he acted whenever the other person was around - much more animated, conversational, asking questions, etc. - kind of like he had been with me when we started dating.
    11 years 1 month ago #7298

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    • Ruth
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    Replied by Ruth on topic Signs of Infidelity

    He took extra care in locking his truck up. I figured he was hiding something from me. After calling a locksmith, and making an extra key. I found his stash of condoms (we don't use) under the seat with a dated receipt.
    11 years 1 month ago #7304

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    • Nicole
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    Replied by Nicole on topic Signs of Infidelity

    Three days last week he has come home and showered, he never showers before bed. He is very impotent!
    11 years 1 month ago #7305

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    • CC Mama
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    Replied by CC Mama on topic Signs of Infidelity

    Being late home from work and always having an excuse ready.
    Not being able to ejaculate.
    Being critical and sometimes mocking you.
    Sleeping on the sofa some of the night.
    Showering as soon as he comes home.
    Telling you not to wait up for him when you have always done so.
    Receiving bizarre text messages from friends you never realised he was that close to. (in other words having 'pretend' names in his phone that are really his OW).
    Claiming he is stressed with work problems when questioned about his odd behaviour.
    Encouraging you to have a social life and go places out of town when this is unusual for him.
    Do extra shifts at work or working excessively longer hours than usual.
    Avoiding social events with you.
    Ignoring you and not listening to what you are saying anymore if not their usual character.
    11 years 1 month ago #7308

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    • So Frustrated with him
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    Replied by So Frustrated with him on topic Signs of Infidelity

    One I never thought of until it happened to me:

    I had caught him once... although he denied it was anything more than a one time fling. He said he was sorry, we did counseling, etc... things seemed like they would heal.

    THEN

    He just all of a sudden seemed so NORMAL. Helped a lot with the kids, house etc. NEVER argued, never asked to go anywhere or do anything by himself. Told me he loved me and what we had... a lot! In fact, more than ever before.

    Almost seemed sullen/introspective at times, I noticed, especially after a few days off from work. ALMOST mechanical in some respects.

    I got a tip from a co worker that the OW has been seen around, even though she supposedly moved away months ago.

    RED FLAGS are sprouting!!!
    11 years 1 month ago #7321

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