Cheated on Girlfriend

  • Ferb14
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Cheated on Girlfriend was created by Ferb14

Hello,

Approximately 6 months ago I started dating this amazing girl who I had great interests for! A month and a half into our relationship I headed out to college and we transitioned into a long distance relationship. A month into college I cheated on my girlfriend sexually with another girl. The thing is that the cheating initiated with kissing one night where things were so unexpected. The fact that I thought I would never cheat made me vulnerable to cheating because I did not expect things to escalate so quickly in unanticipated manner. Being a virgin Male at the time, I regret everything I did and I wish I could take it all back. I really want my ex girlfriend back but I am unworthy of her because I was selfish and ignorant to see how everything would turn out! I caused her great pain that I am unable to fix. Fast forward 2 months was when I told my girlfriend everything in person. She deserved to know the truth and i just couldn't live with the guilt. I know now that I am a person who can not lie, it's just not who I am. 4 months after I committed all of the grevious acts, I am still filled with guilt, shame and anger. I wish i could go back and change everything. I am almost 20 years of age and now I could care less about sex. I don't want it and I tend to curse my manly sexuality because it wanted gratification that cost me a future with someone I could truly love. My ex was my first girlfriend and the love I am starting to feel is growing and growing. Love for me is a process that takes time if I am going to truly give unconditional love. My ex girlfriend forgave me and at the moment we are just messaging a little. I seek advice as to what I should do and handle this situation.  I want my girlfriend to be happy but it pains me because I want to be the one for her and I know that I simply do not deserve this position in her life, or at least how I see it. Personally I do not want to date her anytime soon if it does come to be. I do not want to date anyone or have sex or anything until I get married. I want to grow closer with God and see how things play out. She deserves someone much better than me, someone who will love her without limit. I just feel so unworthy and ashamed because of the destruction I brought to her world. I never want to cheat on anyone or her if it comes to be. I never want to feel so much pain ever again. I have cried more times than I can possibly count because of what I did and everything I lost.

Is there anyone with similar issue where two were virgins and one strayed? How did it work out in the end? Did you stay or leave? 

We are both fairly young but I know she really loves me and I wish I our relationship would have been the exception. If we do I ever get together again, I feel that it will be in many months or years and this is if we don't find different lovers by then.

What advice can be given? Should I let her go and just forget about one another? Can we fix this and grow to be much stronger? Of the healing process, will the trust, love, commitment ever be the same? Are there any couples who came out stronger and is it worth it for us although we are young?
1 week 2 days ago #92991

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Replied by sal9396 on topic Cheated on Girlfriend

You made a mistake. You were, and still are, very young. You might not be ready for a long-term committed relationship, and that's OK. There's no rush. You're being way too hard on yourself. If she's willing to try to move past this and still have a relationship, and you want that as well, why deny it out of some overblown guilt. And don't let some religious guilt pile on either. Blaming your "manly sexuality" sounds like something you would have hammered into you by religion. Hey, you're a human being, you messed up. Own up to it, try to learn from it and move on. Try growing closer to yourself and being more self-aware. Perhaps that will help.
1 day 15 hours ago #93003

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