Wife confessed so what details do I need to know ?

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Wife confessed so what details do I need to know ? was created by diggity11

I found out a couple of years ago that my wife cheated before marriage about 12 years ago when we were in college. I always had my suspicion back then about this guy and my suspicions was correct. I was pressing her buttons one day and she confessed. She told me it was a month and had sex a couple of times and then started to cry. I was asking to know all details of when, where, how, why, was it good , better than me etc. I wanted to know everything. She was pregnant when she was in college and lost it. The month she told me she cheated was not near the time she got pregnant. I did research and I went to ask a person who would know something if anything. He said no at first but then I told him my wife just confessed and then he said yes but couldn’t tell me as he was close friends with me and the other guy. He told me some details as far as oral, unprotected and time frame it occurred. He didn’t know number of times they had sex but mention time frame the other guy was visiting her. The time frame the other guy was coming around was during the time she was pregnant. I confronted my wife about all this and she denies everything. I don’t believe her. My question is how much details should I know? Should I know everything? I want to know all details but I heard that might not be a good thing. As far as if sex was good I am sure it was because she did it more than once and know the other guy had to be thinking I have to please her the first time to be able to continue. 
I would at least want to know (she told me why she cheated ) when it started, the number of times of sex, when it ended , did you have feelings for the guy and when you got pregnant back then could he possibly be the father. It’s been 2 years since she told me and 12 years when the affair happen.
4 months 5 days ago #93469

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Replied by sal9396 on topic Wife confessed so what details do I need to know ?

What is the point of knowing all the details? They don't change anything and will serve to just inflame your emotions. Plus, this happened 12 years ago. That's even more of a reason not to worry about the details, focus on seeing if you can fix the relationship. Has she been faithful since, and otherwise a good wife? If you never found out, would you have been better off? If the answer to those questions is yes, then you certainly don't need more details.
4 months 5 days ago #93471

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Replied by sal9396 on topic Wife confessed so what details do I need to know ?

Just looked at your other two posts and the story/timeline is different in every one. Makes me question your legitimacy. Just trying to have some fun here?
4 months 5 days ago #93472

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Replied by diggity11 on topic Wife confessed so what details do I need to know ?

Thanks for your response . I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone’s business. I am puzzled i didn’t find out or someone told me back then.  If I knew back then i would have been gone. Those 2-3 years was the toughest in our relationship. I feel she just told me a glimpse of what happen to make it easy to forgive. I would like to know when it started , number of times and ended.  She got pregnant during that time and I want to know if he was a possible father . I asked her these questions and she Denies it . I’d rather here it from her then someone in town . If it was the other way around and  I cheated  with a girl  who got pregnant and lost it  she would want honesty .  She had been a good wife and no signs of cheating as we are older and mature now. Details as far as who bigger and better and actual acts would be information I may not need . But Do you think I should know when it started , number of times, pregnancy and when it ended?
4 months 4 days ago #93473

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Replied by Louise42 on topic Wife confessed so what details do I need to know ?

My husband has been diagnosed with a sex addiction. This means he has had multiple one night stands with escorts and other women. I want to know how many women and where etc, I think it helps the healing process. I cannot fully move on with out this infomation. My husband however isnt forth coming with it. 
3 months 3 weeks ago #93489

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Replied by diggity11 on topic Wife confessed so what details do I need to know ?

Sorry to hear that . I just need to know the truth so I can forgive . I know details will be haunting to know but I want to know how many sexual encounters and duration of the affair .
3 months 2 weeks ago #93522

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