I just feel stupid

  • snowworm99
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I just feel stupid was created by snowworm99

Where do I start with this...I guess feeling stupid...Stupid for believing the lie
Lets go back in time 4 years ago, I was in a unhappy marriage looking for a way out.  Along came someone that was in a similar situation, or so I was told.
I took the bait, went through a fairly easy divorce and waiting for her to finish with her nasty not so easy divorce...or so I was told.
I know this is hard to believe but for the past 4 years I waited patiently to see her and be with her.  but each time a specific date would pass, there would be another reason why I would have to wait longer.  This went on for 4 years almost to the day.  It wasn't all waiting...anything we could do over the phone we did...just like any other couple..sharing experiences...confiding and talking and getting to know one another...we were both their for each other not physically but virtually.  My love for this person grew so great there was nothing I wouldn't do...waiting was just sacrifice i would endure for the prize.
Until I found out a few days ago...and she confessed it that she wasn't there person she led me to believe..All the 700+ photos of her were not her...neither was her name, she had never been married....along with so many more lies...some needed to cover her tracks and others for no apparent reason...like having only 1 sister instead of 3...Anyway I am terribly hurt as you can imagine...the person I absolutely fell in love with does not exists...instead its another person.  A person 1 year younger, about 50 pounds larger, not nearly as attractive as the one I was led to believe. That is the explanation or rational why she kept the lie going...for fear of loosing me or never getting me in the first place.  Throw in some near death experiences like blood clots and other things I don't believe were ever true...some where like a previous boyfriend abusing her...but I am not sure of any of this really.  Now trying to put 4 years experience in a few paragraphs is just impossible but to try and summarize this...I feel like not everything was lying...I truly feels she loves me so much, and would do anything for me...or is this just me being gullible again and could be just part of lies...how do you re-love and forgive someone with this type of problem...I just don't think I can look at the real person in the face knowing they did this to me for so long...and for the life of me will never understand how I could have just gone along with it for so long with blind eyes...
3 months 3 weeks ago #93504

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