Wow.. Just Wow

  • Imdyn77
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Wow.. Just Wow was created by Imdyn77

I'm a full time compulsive liar. I don't cheat, I don't lie for personal gain when I'm lying it's to avoid conflict basically being a giant pussy outta guilt for being such a dirtbag most of my 40 years on earth. I'm finished with life in general, everyday worse than the last with times in-between filled with sobering fact I've never gone without food or a home like many that haven't turned into folks like me. Before the age of 7 with my mom, whom I love with all my heart I had to be the parent of the house, she was an alcoholic and my father was working constantly but it's not a poor me thing, I'm searching for answers after all these horrible stories of cheating and it's whatever....looking back I could whip a lie up faster than a bullet probably best in world, at times getting older seconds later I'd think holy fuck your either sick or the planets greatest fastest lier ever...I constantly had to lie to my crying sister about mom's passing out, her falling down, to the neighbor kids about the yelling or the house being a mess, being molested by a sick fucking weirdo pedophile on my own block couple times at his house saying whatever I had to quickly to get another fucking dude (sorrry but paedophiles whether they touch kids or worse need to be burned alive on TV ppv and it's a FACT none can be rehabilitated just my opinion) but anyways it was like Vietnam childhood from walking to maybe age 11 mom got sober even went on to actually treat other addicts but at 12 I witnessed some pretty horrible things like accidental fatalities, losing everybody 3HS buddies and grandparents all in same couple years then parents divorcing ontop of that so it was always oh no I fell it's cool, mom's just sleeping again I'll cook for you, I'm good people die, hey could you stop rubbing your little cock on me before I tell my parents( not knowing if he was going to kill me as the dirtbag I think said to me at time im like 7 fucking years old... so longest story short here I'm on the cliffs edge, 40 years old and my lies are too avoid hurting others and being hurt I'm not a cheater I'm not running around telling people I'm superman I have cheated on woman in hs twice I think never going back forth though looking back just not having guts to hurt her hurt her feelings thing but my heart was never dark or intensely hell bent on lying to destroy and take and hurt I'm just confused, I've hurt and destroyed and disappointed so many great people and things it's just unfair how I'm here and great folks who aren't dirtbags like me get cancer or die in accidents before 40 I'm struggling to understand anything, I've got no kids and everybody who's left that I love will mathematically be gone soon so maybe that's why I'm still here to be in hell on earth I guess but rambling aside in-between the cheating stories and I'm a navy seal on the weekends there's similar stories like mine and I'm wondering why I can't say it's sunny outside when it is actually sunny I'll be like yeah it's bright but clouds coming soon or some shit if that makes sense I dunno.. there's people getting their heads cut off as i write this that would give anything to have a tenth of my opportunity in life or somebody's hungry now you know I'm just struggling because you talk to anybody that would know me they wouldn't think anything like this always ready to help and tryn cheer ya up or on but fuck me underneath the few smirks I'm the walking dead and deservedly so im guessing. 
2 months 2 weeks ago #93761

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