Last Straw

  • LCS0227
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Last Straw was created by LCS0227

I met my husband online.  We talked online daily for three months before I met him in person.  I was a single mother of an eleven-year-old son.  I had been single and not looking for ten plus years.  We met in an AOL chatroom…LOL.  Yes, it was that long ago.  He was a charmer and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.  He is an airline pilot for a major airline and was, therefore, able to arrange layovers where I lived in Memphis.  He lived 500 miles away in Texas.  After a few months of weekend layovers and a whirlwind romance, I found out that he wasn’t divorced after all.  He then told me he was separated and waiting on divorce to be finalized…… yea, also a big, fat lie.  He was married with one teen daughter.  I was completely devastated.  I told him that I was not going to be responsible for breaking up a home and I ended our relationship. It was a few months when he contacted me again and smoozed me.  He did get divorced and pursued a relationship with me. Now that I look back on it all, I really hate myself for getting back together with him.  I have so many regrets.  So, so many…. We just ‘celebrated’ our 20th anniversary.  Also, I just hit my 60th birthday.  The day after our anniversary we were driving home from visiting family and stopped at a hotel to stay overnight.  As soon as we were away from family, his whole mood, personality, persona changed.  It was like the flip of a light switch.  He became short tempered and angry over NOTHING.  Extremely childish.  He has a tendency to be on his phone for hours at a time and is BEYOND DEFENSIVE if I interrupt him or ask what he is looking at.  In the hotel room, he was engrossed in his phone and I asked him a couple times what he was doing.  He was so engrossed in whatever it was that he didn’t even hear me.  I ‘touched’ his phone to tilt it my way to see what he was looking at……boy, oh boy, that was a huge mistake.  He SCREAMED at me that it was none of my goddamned business and he was “sick of me always snatching his phone out of hands”.  I can assure you that I have NEVER snatched his phone out of his hands much less even touched it.  Things just got weirder after that.  I distanced myself from him, took a shower and got my jammies on.  We had been to Dollar General earlier in the day and I thought I was missing an item so I was looking for the receipt.  Now, keep in mind that he keeps ALL receipts for a couple months before throwing them away and he balances the checkbook 2-3 times a day.  Very, very OCD and controlling with the money.  So, he’s watching me digging through the trash and searching the DG bags for the receipt.  I asked him and he said he hadn’t seen it.  I went into the hotel bathroom to dig through that trash can and out of the corner of my eye (in the mirror) I could see him jump up and put something in his suitcase.  So – I asked again if he’d seen the receipt or if he had it in his wallet like always.  He said, “No, I didn’t keep any receipts this trip and I haven’t seen your receipt – you probably didn’t get one”.  I looked in his wallet – completely empty of receipts.  I them looked in his suitcase and there it was… every receipt from the past two weeks, my DG receipt AND the checkbook.  He just straight-faced lied repeatedly about it and the lying came so naturally.  That was a week ago.  I tried.... I’ve tried for 20 years…. I’m done.  He has manipulated me and lied to me long enough.  What the hell am I waiting for?  And this is just one incident…. I’ve dealt with pornography addiction, masturbation addiction,  verbal and emotional abuse and other sex issues too embarrassing to discuss.   We’ve been sleeping in separate rooms since 2015… I didn’t ‘sleep right’… I snore and I slept in ‘unattractive positions.  Also, with me in the same room, it was really putting a crimp in his whatever he spends hours looking at… but that’s “none of my GD business”.  He’s above and beyond emotionally immature and emotionally abusive. I’m so done….  He’s destroyed any love that I might have had for him.  I don’t even know him.  I’m damaged.  I will never trust a man or enter a relationship ever again.  I hate men…. And that’s sad.  I’m going to see my doc and get back on antidepressants tomorrow… It’s time for me to get my life together. 
3 months 2 weeks ago #93864

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