My wife had a six month affair and says she wants to be with me and only me

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My wife had a six month affair and says she wants to be with me and only me was created by Sad but true

My wife like a lot of people you read about in various places had a affair with a co worker of ours. I had started working at a large bevrage company and loved my job. My wife on the other had been working two jobs but had quit one of them when I started working there. The job she kept was ok but it wasn't something that she enjoyed or liked doing, so the people who ran our branch of this corporation really liked me and when a spot opened up I talked to them and recommended my wife for the spot. They hired her and she loved the job and enjoyed it. The first few weeks she was there she was learning the ropes, I did everything I could to help her,from giving advice to actually getting off my shift and then coming to help her for a few hours and teaching her everything she needed to know. Her and I worked different hours and on different work teams I delivered products to stores and she put the product our for purchase. We never crossed paths as we serviced different areas so there was never a problem of seeing each other too much or spending to much time together. In fact she thanked me over and over again for helping her in the first few months of her getting used to the new job. The work group I was a part of had mostly family guys in it except one. He was one of those gym rat so called bodybuilder types. The kind that think they are God's gift to women. he thought he was the most charming and witty man ever and thought of those around him as inferior. Of course him and I were partners very often when we had heavy days at work. He and I got along for the most part because I disregarded most of the crap that came out of his mouth but I always took notes in the back of my mind about some of the stuff he would say or do.
Most of the places he would go he would hit on women that worked there or say inappropriate things to them and I always felt uncomfortable with it knowing that he had a wife and two small children and another on the way. I even saw him make out with a woman who worked at one of the stores we delivered to, and a couple of times disappear for ten minutes a couple time. He would also tell me and the other guys we worked with about all of the women he had on the side and was cheating on his wife with. I of course would tell my wife about what a scumbag this guy was and all of the things he did and said, knowing that he sometimes would deliver to her stores she would be at. I asked her to make sure and be only professional with him and to please not talk to him except for what was work related. She promised me she would and I trusted her completely. She had never once gave me any reason not to. The main reason I didn't want her to talk to him was I didn't want to have to deal with him and lose my job if he tried or said anything to her that was out of the way. He had said to me at one point in front of everyone that she liked him and had given him her number and laughed because it was a joke. That night I came home and told my wife what he had said that day and she was pissed, she said she would never give him her number and he was an idiot and all of these different things. I believed her and felt that she really never would and that she in no way liked him. He and I used to give each other crap like co workers do, make fun of each other and so on. I told him to never joke like that again or I would have to deal with it, as in go to the boss. He was always super job scared so he stopped and everything went back to normal. One of the other guys at our job had gotten a job offer to go to another company and wanted to bring us with him to this new company, so he asked me and him to go too. The scumbag said he was going to leave and work there so I was the last one who was trying to decide if I wanted to go also. I loved my job and had been doing really well there and was not sure I wanted to leave. I asked my wife what she thought and she convinced me that it would be the right move so I took the new job. After a week there I started working at night and would get home around 4 am. The other two would start at 1 am. I didn't like being gone at night and was uneasy about it but my wife assured me that it was fine and she would be asleep anyway so not to worry about he being too lonely. After a feel weeks I hated the job and wanted to quit and find something else and asked my wife again and she told me not to because we needed the money and it was a good job and I would get used to it. So I stayed. A couple months go by im still not caring for it but I'm doing ok, myself and him and one other guy get asked to attend some training in another State so we were gone for a couple days together. We stayed at a hotel and at night when the training was over were would hang out for a few hours and eat dinner and what not. One night he tells me about this woman he was seeing and some of the things they did, I didn't want to hear about it but I asked him what her name was and he wouldn't tell me but seemed to think it was funny. It pissed me off but once again I trusted my wife and dismissed it. Anyway flash forward a month and a half later. My wife had asked one of the guys at a store she serviced for his number and was texting and Snapchating him and had not told me. I say one of them that she had forgotten to delete and I asked her about it. She said she was sorry and had forgotten to tell me and that they were just friends. I was very upset that she didn't tell me, I told her if she had that would have been fine and I would have not been upset or anything. The next day I was off and she had went to work and left her phone at home. A text had come and I read it, it was from a couple worker of hers that had left the company saying hey then how's Steve. I thought it was weird because I never talked to this person and she was gone anyway so why would she be asking about me? I matched the number to my contacts and love and behold it was this scumbags number. When she came home that day I asked her why he was texting her and why his number was in her phone under a woman's name. She at first tried to denie it but after a minute said that she had been cheating on me for a few months with him. But it was over. It had started a couple weeks before him and I left for our new jobs. She watched my herat break into a million peices and when I asked for the whole story she kept making up things for months. All of the why's and hows, the reasons and all of the things you want or need to know to decide if you want to stay or go. I for some reason needed to know how many times they had done it and what they had done. She told me it was over before I found out and that she didn't love him or find him attractive. That the sex wasn't good and she never moved while they were doing it or make any sounds. But she had bought a little school skirt to wear for him and she had sent a bunch of nude pictures and a video of her masturbating to him. She even told me after a couple of months doing this with him she was wanting to quit but was having a hard time because she didn't want to give up the sex. She had done a few things with him that we had not really done like anal. She had even given him oral, in a public restroom. After I found out I call him and told him to stay away and not contact her in anyway. And as far as I know the last eight months she hasn't spoken to him or anything. She said from the first day she never wanted to leave me and loved me the whole time, she had given me all of the passwords to everything she had and as far as I know hasn't done anything in secret. She says she loves me more than ever and knows how much it hurt me and will never ever do something so terrible again. She promisses me it had nothing to do with his body or anything other then she wanted sex. But on the other hand it took her eight months to tell me everything about her affair and why she had done it. But I have a hard time believing her. Two weeks before I found out about it she was trying to get us to move to a different town and was trying to get me a job with her dad. So I feel like she wanted to move and in her mind have a fresh start but I'm not sure because in the job that he had he would be in this other town 5 days aweek while I was working with her dad. So it was possible she still could see him sometimes. She said one of the reasons she did it was because she still loved me but not as much as she used to so it made her be able to do it without guilt or remorse. Even though she always said I love you to me and would still do things for me and our life together. But the problem I am having is this:
1. She said she didn't have guilt during the affair.
2. She didn't have any remorse during the affair.
3. The sex acts she preformed during the affair.
4. The fact she was fighting giving up the affair even though she didn't love him or find him sexy or attractive.
5. She was able to lie about the details of the affair for 8 months.
6. She still loved me during it but loves me more now.
7. That she spent money on the affair.
8. She did it with him in our house.
9. She did it with him in his house and car with his child's car seat in the way.
10. She let him use one off his wife's sex toys or her.
I want to stay with her because after all of this I still love her and want to be with her. We were each other's best friend and I never felt that way about anyone else ever.
She has done almost everything she can think of to show she's not that person anymore and has exspressed how sorry she is but I keep feeling it's not enough. And I keep feeling she's not telling the truth about something like possibly how many times they did it or some of the things they did. She even told me the whole affair she never showed him her chest or let him touch it, but yet she gave him oral and anal. And that they only did it ten times. Plus she says she gave him oral once because it didn't feel right and made her feel sick but she started giving him anal and that wasn't anything that made her feel bad. And that the anal came about because she felt regular sex was too much so at least he wasn't inside her where only her husband should be. And that as far as her vagina was concerned it was only his fingers except the 3 times they did have regular intercourse. I feel like these are lies and I don't know how to love her again. Or how to stay with her after all of this but yet I know in my heart that I do. I wish I could stop thinking about these things and go back to a normal life and love her like she once again says she loves me. She's done a lot to show me she's not cheating on me anymore with anyone but I feel like it will happen again. And I just want my wife back and to be happy and forgive and forget. Any advice would be great and maybe some way of getting myself esteem back because this guy was in better shape then me and used to tell me he could get me in shape by taking me to the gym and I told her before I found out that he said these things to me and it hurt my feelings and she knows that is something that destroyed me too. Thanks
2 years 4 months ago #91734

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Replied by Taffy on topic My wife had a six month affair and says she wants to be with me and only me

Don't ever forget who your wife is and what she has done. Heartbreaking I am learning this.
"However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the 'right' person, because he or she is simply a mirror of who you are inside."-Deepak Chopra
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."-Carl Jung
2 years 3 months ago #91857

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Replied by Taffy on topic My wife had a six month affair and says she wants to be with me and only me

Don't ever forget who your wife is and what she has done. Heartbreaking I am learning this.
"However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the 'right' person, because he or she is simply a mirror of who you are inside."-Deepak Chopra
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."-Carl Jung
2 years 3 months ago #91858

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Replied by HurtButHopeful on topic My wife had a six month affair and says she wants to be with me and only me

I just read your story and I am devastated for you. I am dealing with a somewhat similar situation, in which my wife had an affair but confessed it to me and I still love her. But God do I hate what she did. I don't have advice because I'm still trying to figure it out myself, I just want to say I feel for you and any decision you make is the right one. You deserve to find happiness, and I hour you do, with her or otherwise.
1 year 8 months ago #92658

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Replied by Ithappenedtome on topic My wife had a six month affair and says she wants to be with me and only me

I feel awful for you. There is a lot going on here, but let's start with the fact that initially, your wife was only upset that she got caught. That is a harsh truth and do not let her spin it as something else. Mine happened the same way except that it had not graduated to a physical affair yet and I caught her by reading a text.
Now, she may have seen the error in her ways or is simply afraid that you'll leave and she will be alone. This is a decision that only you can make. I am currently in the limbo of giving a second chance and waiting to see if my wife does it again. You have to decide if you are willing to roll the dice and see if she does it again. I am taking the chance on getting played for a fool again and you will be doing the same if you give her another chance.
Your situation had obviously escalated far beyond what mine has, but it is still the same in that your wife allowed another man to enter your marriage. You are going to have to be vigilant in any action that you take, but most importantly, you have to put YOURSELF first. If you even think it is happening again do not hesitate to call her out on it. Make sure you have access to cell phone and internet accounts. It's very easy to look up call/text records by looking at your bill.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but as far as the sexual acts she performed with this dirtbag, she was a willing partner and in no way was she taking you into account while she was with this guy. She was trying things most likely because this guy was suggesting it or even bossing her around as a submissive partner. There is no redeeming factor in the things that she was doing. She enjoyed every minute of it until you caught her.
1 year 8 months ago #92660

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Replied by DecemberDesert on topic My wife had a six month affair and says she wants to be with me and only me

I feel you man, sounds so much like my wifes cheating on me. She says they did it 10x also but didnt give me all the details you got which I am not sure how to feel about it. I am 10 months out from finding and still struggle daily with it. I think we will make it but never know for sure. I think she has had no contact with him. If I find she did or does I will divorce her. You probably dont ever check this anymore but if you do please let me know how you are doing and what has and hasnt worked for you. Good luck. 
1 month 2 weeks ago #93853

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