Devastated and on my own.

  • Bluestang98
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Devastated and on my own. was created by Bluestang98

My girlfriend and I have been together for 4+ years. She comes from a very difficult and abusive family background, so about a year ago I decided enough was enough and I pulled up to her parent's house in a Uhaul truck, helped her load up her things, and moved her in with me and my family. The day before I decided to do all this, I had an altercation with her over shady conversations that her and a guy were having. But I had already leased a storage unit and a truck, so there wasn't a choice to turn back or put things on hold. A year later, she confessed to me that she had been secretly seeing this guy for months, even after she moved in with me. Things went too far and she said she realized she was screwing up and cut things off with him. I've been chewing on this for a couple weeks now. I really do love her. I pictured spending my life with this girl. I want to forgive her and feel better for my own sake. But I don't know how. I really need support/advice because I feel truly alone. I can't talk to my family about this or they will probably kick her out, and I don't want them to look badly on her in the future.
Thank you for your time.
1 month 2 days ago #92998

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Replied by Pasadena1000 on topic Devastated and on my own.

It comes down to whether or not you think you can trust her. If she has been in an abusive home then she has issues. She may seek unhealthy relationships. You both need to agree that you need to truly understand who you both are. Ask her for her complete and honest history. Understand what she has been though without judgment. You share your story with her in the same honest way. Once you both have openly shared honest and transparent histories you can decide. Is this someone I want to spend my life with. 

If you can do any of the above with the aid of a therapist or counselor, all the better. If either of you has any substance abuse problems go and listen to a few meetings and assess where you are. 

You are not alone. We are all flawed but if we are honest and open and sincere we can help each other. 
1 week 4 days ago #93056

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