Lied to my husband

  • janey1
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Lied to my husband was created by janey1

Hi all just looking for some advice really. I’ve been with my husband for 10 yrs married for 2 of them we have a little boy and a step daughter. When we first got together I had been single and casually dating etc my husband was newly divorced. In the early days he would have issues with my past relationships and blow up about them. 
3 years ago he asked if I knew a certain guy (husband worked with him) and I said no, in reality I had a one night stand with him 17 years ago. The reasons for my lie were I was so scared of losing my husband then the name didn’t really come up again. Fast forward to now my husband went out on a night out and came back angry asking what I needed to tell him. I therefore confessed the next day. My husband was actually angry as he saw one of my exes out who was asking a friend about me.
Since then things have been just awful it’s been 10 days now and feel like we are on the brink of separation but I want to reconcile so much Please help
J
1 year 4 months ago #93711

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Replied by sal9396 on topic Lied to my husband

Why would you want to reconcile with such an ass? Did he never have a previous relationship? Sounds like he is a bit unstable and might be prone to aggression. If I were you, I'd consider other options.
1 year 3 months ago #93717

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Replied by Betrayed Wife on topic Lied to my husband

I'm sorry to say, but your husband seems like a "damned if I do, damned if I don't" kind of person. I don't think anything you said or did would please him. When you were first dating he "blew up" about your past relationships. Everyone has past relationships. He himself was divorced. (I wonder if his anger issues had anything to do with that.) Whatever happened with you and that guy was 17 years ago, years before you even got with your husband. Sometimes a person can sort of make their spouse lie because they just want to avoid the consequences of the truth. It's not like you were hiding something, it was probably more like you knew he'd go ballistic over something that happened before he even met you, and you just wanted to keep the peace. It wasn't like you cheated on your husband. For him to so aggressively pursue this thing that happened so long ago, makes me think he's a control freak. Either that or he has some serious self esteem issues. Either way, this is the proverbial mountain out of a molehill. You're going to spend your whole life with him holding you over some bafrrell or another. It's mental abuse. He needs to forget about any man you were with when you were single. He's the one with issues, not you. He is severely overreacting.
It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness -- ancient proverb.
1 year 3 months ago #93718

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